Endorse
by aolurker
Summary: Olivia needs to inform Cragen about her and Alex. Another E story (see Escape, Enthrall, Electric, Exchange) series/universe. A word about this series/universe...these aren't being told in chronological order. Also, as with most all of my stories (if not all), this takes place in the S2-S4 time frame. The "glory days" of SVU and Alex/Olivia. That's why Elliot may show up here and t


**Title:** Endorse  
**Rated:** PG-13  
**Fandom:** Alex/Olivia, SVU  
******Words:** ~1800**  
Notes:** Olivia needs to inform Cragen about her and Alex. Another E story (see Escape, Enthrall, Electric, Exchange) series/universe. A word about this series/universe...these aren't being told in chronological order. Also, as with most all of my stories (if not all), this takes place in the S2-S4 time frame. The "glory days" of SVU and Alex/Olivia. That's why Elliot may show up here and there.  
**Notes 2:** Again, thank you everyone for reading and for comments. I love love hearing from you.

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**Endorse**

It was Monday morning and Cragen had only had time to get his first coffee of the day and to get seated at his desk when one of his detective's was knocking lightly and a little tentatively on his office door.

"Hey, Captain, can I, um, can I talk to you for a minute?" Olivia stood at the threshold, one hand stuffed in the pocket of her jeans, teeth nervously worrying her lower lip.

Cragen had no idea what this might be about but his door was always open to the members of his squad. "Of course, Detective, come in."

The female detective stepped in and turned her back to her captain in order to close his office door. Cragen wasn't sure, but he thought she took a deep breath before turning back around, this time stuffing both hands in her pockets. "Thanks," she said, again seemingly a little tentative, a little nervous as she took a step or two towards his desk, before stopping and taking another breath.

"Olivia? Are you okay?" he finally prompted, since she had remained silent.

She looked up at him and he could see the uncertainty and a little bit of fear in her eyes.

"Sit down, Detective," he took on a more authoritative tone, thinking that would help focus her and help her get past whatever it was she was internally stumbling upon.

Olivia followed the order, pulling one of the chairs in front of his desk back and sitting in it. But she didn't look at Cragen. She couldn't. Not yet. So instead, she just sat, elbows on her knees, staring at the floor.

This time Cragen just waited her out.

Fortunately, it didn't take long. Olivia took one more breath then finally looked up and met the eyes of her captain. "There's something…" she began haltingly, "There's something I need to make you aware of."

Cragen's only response was to raise his eyebrows, his heart beating a little harder, but trying to suppress his own worry, trying to keep focused on Olivia.

Olivia looked away again and cleared her throat before returning her gaze to the man across the desk from her and starting again. "Alex… Cabot," she tacked on Alex's last name as if Cragen might not know whom she was talking about, "You know, our," she was now rambling a bit, adding information she knew wasn't necessary just to waste time, "our ADA…"

Cragen said as much, "Yes, detective, I'm aware of who she is." There was a touch of amusement in his voice, but also a touch of concern, for he couldn't remember the last time Olivia Benson had behaved like this, had seemed so off kilter. "What about her?" he asked gently.

Olivia swallowed hard then. There was really no way to soft pedal this. So she just blurted it out. "We've been… we are… we're seeing each other."

Again, Cragen's response was to raise his eyebrows, though behind those raised eyebrows were a mix and a roiling of emotions. Extreme relief that it wasn't anything truly bad, extreme concern about the consequences of what he'd just been told, and a strong, strong kick of professionalism, realizing this was truly a subordinate talking to a superior of the NYPD.

And it was that kick of professionalism that had him prompting this detective to continue, to tell him the rest of the story. "'Seeing each other?'" he asked. Because though he knew what Olivia meant, for this to be official, for this to be one of his detectives officially informing him that she was involved with a member of the District Attorney's office and specifically with a member of the DA's offices that handled his squad's cases, then that detective needed to be explicit.

Olivia took another breath before answering. "As more than just colleagues," she responded.

Cragen just looked at her, clearly unsatisfied with her answer.

"As more than just friends," Olivia tried again to avoid actually saying what they both knew she was saying.

But her captain wasn't going to let her off the hook that easily, couldn't let her. He just continued to stare hard at her.

Olivia sighed and, bringing her gaze back to that of her Captain's, she finally honestly and fully answered, "Romantically. Alex and I are seeing each other romantically," the detective's voice wavered just slightly with nerves, but her chin was held high and her gaze remained steady.

After just a beat, it was the captain that took a deep breath and continued to his next question, seeking the next piece of information he needed. "How long have you been… seeing each other?" he asked.

Olivia held his gaze one second longer before looking away, knowing the conversation that would follow would probably be a little awkward. Her answer was directed more at the floor than her captain, "Since Saturday," she replied, feeling her cheeks warm, knowing she was blushing just slightly.

Cragen again paused a beat. Olivia wasn't going to like his next question, wasn't going to like it at all. But it had to be asked, "A one night stand?"

He was right. She didn't like the question.

Her head shot up, "Captain!" she exclaimed, the surprise and the hurt clear on her face.

Cragen held his hands up, "Detective," his voice was quiet, somewhat softening the use of her title rather than her name, "You know I have to ask. You know I need to know exactly what I'm dealing with."

Olivia held his gaze for a moment then relented. Cragen needed this information. And while he could have asked it differently, the fact was she was being interrogated. His questions were *meant* to draw out an emotional response and therefore draw out the truth.

So he'd get the truth.

Her muscles relaxed a little as she slumped back just slightly in her chair. She shook her head in answer to the captain's question and also added a verbal answer, "No, it wasn't a one night stand," she mumbled slightly, not quite looking at her captain, "I, um, 'saw' her again Sunday night."

Cragen clenched his jaw; Olivia wasn't going to make this easy for him. "Okay then… a two night stand?"

Olivia's eyebrows went up a little bit and she cast her eyes about as she again shook her head, "No. I," she cleared her throat, "I, uh, 'saw' her again this morning."

"Detective!" the Captain's one word conveyed his exasperation as well as a little discomfort.

Finally Olivia looked at him again, "What?" she replied with her own faux-exasperation, "I mean *you're* the one that asked!" And though she tried to keep a straight face, she couldn't, not quite, and Cragen realized she was purposely giving him a bit of a hard time, probably just to pay him back for doing his job and asking the questions – the required, necessary questions – in the first place.

Cragen closed his eyes and shook his own head. Good god his detectives could be trying sometimes. Finally he responded, trying to keep his voice level, "You know what I'm *really* asking, Olivia."

Again Olivia relented. Yes, yes she did know.

And she knew, despite how fun it was to make it hard on him, that it really wasn't Cragen's fault that he had to know, that he had to ask.

She looked at him seriously, "It's not just a one or two or three night stand, sir," she said earnestly. "It's not just a fling. It's…" she looked away again, searching for how to describe it, a parade of emotions playing over her face as she clearly reviewed in her head everything that was her-and-Alex, every single moment of the last 48 hours, every moment since she'd met the attorney, the detective's eyes lighting up, her lips curing up, her face showing everything she felt.

But despite it being so clear in her head, she couldn't put it into words. There simply weren't any words.

She brought her eyes back to her captain and just repeated what she'd said a moment before, hoping he'd understand, "It's not just a fling."

And he did understand. For he'd seen it all, all the micro-expressions that can't lie, all the emotions that couldn't be covered, all the hopes (and, yes, the fears) his detective harbored, all of it, that had flashed across her face. He understood, he *knew* it was real. That it could be *very* real.

That it could be permanent.

And his mind raced over that knowledge. What it might mean for his squad, what it might mean for his detective and ADA, how he'd have to consult with the ethics committee to find out who would need to know and why and how and by when, how he'd probably still have to referee professional disagreements between the two of them and how he wasn't looking forward to that at all.

But having seen all those emotions on Olivia's face, this tough, inexperienced rookie who had matured into one of his best detectives, this woman whom he'd come to think of as extended family, he knew the heartburn would be worth it.

They held each other's gazes for several beats, both trying to read the other. It was Cragen that spoke first, "Okay," he said, indicating that he fully understood what this meant. So he moved on to his next question. "Does Donnelly know?"

Olivia let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. She knew she'd gotten through the hardest part of this meeting and she still had a job. So far so good. "Alex is telling her right now," she answered with a nod.

Cragen chuckled. Actually chuckled. That wasn't what Olivia had expected and she eyed him curiously.

He just shook his head slightly, "I'm just wondering how long it will be before I get that call that starts with, 'Well, shit, Don, what the hell are we going to do about this?'"

Olivia chuckled then, too. That sounded exactly like what Donnelly would say.

When they both quieted down, both took another breath, Olivia wasn't sure what else she was supposed to say, if anything, so she just lightly slapped her hands on her thighs and silently rose from her chair.

She had made it half way to the door when Cragen's voice stopped her.

"Olivia…?"

She turned around.

"You know I can't *officially* endorse this relationship. But…" he tilted his head to the side, shrugged a shoulder, almost cracked a smile, then stated simply, "Alex is a lucky woman."

Olivia, in return, broke into a wide grin and also teared up just a little. She knew that was Cragen's way of saying he *did* endorse it. Not only that, he approved of it. He was happy for her. And for Alex. "Thanks, Captain," she replied before quickly turning her back and walking out the door before any tears could actually fall.


End file.
